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LENA RIVERS • 

By MARIE DOR,/VN 

This popular and successful comedy drama is now issued 
in a copyrighted edition. It contains all the plots and 
complete stage directions, is arranged for 5 male and 4 
female characters, runs 2^ hours and has 2 simple in- 
terior scenes. 

LOW ROYALTY 

Price 35 cents per copy 



Kathleen Mavourneen 

New Copyrighted Version. This well-known Irish favor- 
ite entirely revised and rewritten by Marie Doran, and 
so simplified in stage settings that it can be readily pro- 
duced by amateurs and stock companies. Lozv Royalty 
for Professional Performances. 8 male and 3 female 
characters. Runs 2 hours ; i interior and i exterior 
scene. 

Price 25 cents per copy 



Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 

Successor to 
DICK & FITZGERALD 

18 Vesey Street, New York 



HIS SISTERS 

A Farce in One Act 



By 
BEULAH KING 



Copyright, 1920, by 
Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 



♦ 



P*ITZGEEALD PUBLISHING CORPORATION 

Successor to 

Dick & Fitzgerald 

18 Vesey Street New York 



3521 



His Sisters 



CHARACTERS 

John Joseph Hamilton A much-adored brother 

IMary ^ 

Martha >- His sisters 

Mabel ) 
Jessica ^ 

Judith >• Their friends 

Jane j 

Cecils The maid 

Hannah The cook 

Time. — The present. Locality. — Any town or city. 

Time of Presentation. — About thirty minutes. 

. COSTUMES 

Any pretty dresses, suitable to the character portrayed. 
Cecile wears the regular maid's costume. Hannah, the 
cook, wears a gingham dress. 

INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES 

'Phone off stage. Plate of fudge for Martha. Maga- 
zine for John. Locket and chain for Jane. Letter for 
Hannah. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS 

As seen by the performer on the stage facing the audi- 
ence, R. means right hand; l., left hand; c, center of 
stage ; d. r., door at right ; d. l., door at left ; up, toward 
back of stage ; down, toward footlights. 

2 

m 14 1920 ^^^-^ ^^^""^ 



His Sisters 



SCENE. — Living-room at the Hamiltons'. At R. a 
single door leads into the front hall, and directly 
opposite at l. is a double doorway leading into an- 
other living-room; red plush portieres at doorway. 
At rear c. a large window with a seat directly be- 
neath furnished with pillows. To the r. and l. of 
window are bookcases. Down r. a fireplace, of which 
the gloiv only is visible to the audience. Davenport 
in front of fireplace. Table r. of davenport. Chairs 
placed about to suit. DISCOVERED John seated 
on davenport reading a magazine; Mary stands back 
of him affectionately smoothing his hair; Mabel sits 
on a low stool in front of him, her chin in her cupped 
hands, gazing up at him with admiration; Martha 
stands to r. of John balancing a huge plate of fudge, 
while she rolls her eyes toward him and smiles with 
the satisfaction of one who is sure of winning out. 

Martha (in a voice expressive of a thousand things), 
Jo-ey ! 

John {turns and sees the fudge; faintly, because he 
already has partaken of tarts and cookies). Oh, I say, 
Martha, that's mighty good of you. 

Martha {deposits plate on his lap and perches on arm 
of davenport). All yours, John, every crumb! 

Mabel. Well, of all nerve. You said there wasn't 
a bit of chocolate when I wanted to make him some. 

Martha {ignoring her sister). Aren't you going to 
eat it, Joey? 

John {taking a piece listlessly). You see, Martha, to 
tell the truth, I've eaten so many tarts and cookies. 

3 



4 His Sisters 

.# 

Martha {looMng from one sister to the otJier sus- 
piciously) . Tarts and cookies. 

Mary (ivJio is still smoothing John's hair). Um-um. 
Mabel made the cookies and I made the tarts. 

Mabel. While you were down getting chocolate. 

Martha {taking the fudge). Never mind, Joey, I'll 
put it away and you can have it later. I wouldn 't make 
you sick for worlds. [EXIT d. l. 

Mary {as John is just about to resume his reading, 
speaks in a voice even more expressive than Martha's). 
Jo-ey. 

John. Yes ? 

Mary. What do you want for dinner ? Hannah says 
I may get the dinner to-night and I want it to be a grand 
affair. {Timidly, while she clasps her hands under his 
chin) 1 thought I'd ask Jessica over. 

John. Oh, don't. 

Mary. I 've been telling her I was going to have her 
ever since mother and father went off. 

John {indifferently). All right. Have her. I don't 
care. 

Mary {anxiously) . You'll be home this evening? 

John. Sorry, but I'm out to-night. (Mabel rises, 
smiling to herself and walks about uneasily all the while 
intent on the conversation) 

Mary. Wouldn't you stay home just to please me? 
Jessica would be so delighted. She thinks you're per- 
fectly wonderful. (Mabel chuckles) Have you seen 
her in that new green and silver dinner dress ? 

John. Don't believe I have. Is she ravishing? 

Mary. She certainly is. {Wistfully) I thought we 
could have a very swell affair. 

ENTER Hannah d. l., much excited. 

Hannah. I begs your pardon, Miss, but I'd like to 
spake wid ye in the hall a minute about the new maid. 
Mabel. The new maid again ! 



His Sisters 5 

Mary. Very well, Hannah. (Mary and Hannah 
EXIT D. L. John resumes his reading) 

Mabel {iiits about nervously for a moment, Iter eyes on 
John ; finally ) . Jo-ey ! 

John {tossing Ms magazine away from Mm in dis- 
gust). Well? 

Mabel (in tlie attitude of a suppliant). Do some- 
thing for me. 

John {all unsuspecting). Anything you say. Fire 
away. 

Mabel {before lier courage fails Jier). Invite Jane to 
the Charity Ball. 

John {incredulous). What!! 

Mabel {a little less firmly). Invite Jane to the Char- 
ity Ball. 

John. Say! {He can scarcely realize Ms youngest 
sister Jias begun to set traps for Mm too) 

Mabel {miscMevously) . You said you'd do anything 
I asked you to. 

John. But I don't know Jane. I've only seen her 
once. 

Mabel. Yes, but sJie knows you and she thinks you 
are just too wonderful. {He groans) She saw your pic- 
ture on my dresser out to school. 

John {to whom this phrase has become all too famil- 
iar). Don't. 

Mabel. And she 's been wild over you ever since. {In 
a whisper) She's got a snapshot of you in her locket. 
(John groans again) You needn't groan, sir. Jane's 
a peach, much prettier than that Jessica Jones! Why, 
she has ravishingly beautiful hair. Of course it's red, I 
admit, but it has real Titian hues and there was a pro- 
fessor out to school who went wild over her. 

John {smiling in spite of hiynself) . And you want me 
to go wild over her too. Why, the world wouldn't hold 
both of us. {Teasing her) Jane didn't by any chance 
tell you to ask me to take her? 

Mabel. The idea! She wouldn't do such a thing. 
She just said she wished she could go with you, and of 



6 His Sisters 

course she knows I respect her wishes. Please, Johnny 

dear, won't you take her? {He makes a gesture of im- 
patience) Well, you've got to, that's all. You prom- 
ised you'd do anything I asked, and I'm going to hold 
you to your bargain, I am, I am— I am ! {Dances about) 

John. Oh, well, I might as well take Jane as any one. 
If I don't take Jane I'll have to take Judith and Jessica. 

Mabel {jlingmg her arms about his neck). Oh, you 
darling ! I '11 ask her over and you can walk home with 
her. 

John {quickly). Look here, miss. That wasn't in 
the bargain. 

Mabel. Well, how will you ask her ? 

John. Ring her up on the 'phone and have it over in 
three minutes. 

Mabel. Oh, Avell, I suppose so, but I'm going to ask 
her over anyway. [EXIT D. R. 

ENTER Mary d. l. 

Mary. I've invited Jessica and she's delighted to 
come. {In wheedling tones) You will be nice to her, 
won't you, John — for my sake? 

John {ivho has resolved to accept whatever comes and 
has the manner of such a one). Mary, I'd do anything 
for your sake. 

Mary {with a great sigh). If you only meant that. 

John {intending to have some fun with it all). But I 
do mean it. 

Mary {after regarding him for a moment with fox-like 
eyes). Then ask Jessica to the Charity Ball — for my 
sake. 

John. Is that all you ask? Why, certainly I will. 

Mary. You're not teasing me? 

John. Not a bit of it. I'll ring her up this very 
afternoon and invite her. 

Mary. Oh, you dear thing! YouVe made me bliss- 
fully happy. {Drops a kiss on his forehead) I'll go 
out now and make preparations for the dinner party. 
That new maid is terribly stupid. (Starts off) 



His Sisters 7 

JontJ (casually). The pretty one? 

Mary {stopping c). You've noticed her? 

John {more casually). Couldn't very well help it. 
I 've bumped into her three times in the library doorway. 

Mary. For heaven's sakes, what is she doing in the 
library doorway? She'd better stay in the kitchen and 
learn a few things. She's terribly exasperating. After 
you have explained a thing most carefully she has a way 
of raising her eyes 



John {smiling to himself). Beautiful eyes 

Mary. And looking at you as if you were dust under 
her feet. 

John. I hadn't noticed it— but then I've never tried 
to explain anything to her. She's rather beautiful, isn't 
she? 

Mary. I don't know. I don't like her type half as 
well as Jessica's. Sometimes her eyes are green. (Go- 
ing to D. R.) Well, I'm off, and you shall see what a 
dinner I can prepare. [EXIT d. r. 

Mabel (off stage, heard telephoning Jane) . Oh, hullo, 
Jane! Would I like to have you come over? Sure! 
John's home and he'll play cards with us. (John strikes 
an attitude of resignation) Oh, yes, he'd love to. All 
right, come right over. 

ENTER Martha stealthily d. l. 

Martha {in a whisper expressive of a thousand 
things). Jo-ey! {He starts) You won't get angry 
with me if I ask you something? 

John {with infinite patience). My dear sister, cer- 
tainly not. Besides, what you ask me can matter little 
one way or another. What is it, fair one ? 

Martha {pouting). You're teasing me and I think 
you're horrid after I made you all that fudge. Please 
be sensible. 

John (smiling). I am, and to prove it I'm going to 
grant you anything you ask of me. 

Martha. You don't know what a rash promise you 
are making, sir. I 'm in earnest. 



8 His Sisters 

John. So am 1 1 

Martha. Very well. — I am going to ask you to take 
Judith to the Charity Ball. 

John {dancing about). Whoop — hee! 

Martha (catching him and stopping him). Ah-ha, 
old fellow, now you're caught. 

John {feigning innocence). Caught? I don't know 
what you mean. Nothing could make me happier than 
to take Judith to the Charity Ball. 

Martha {only half helieving him). Then go right 
now and ring her up. It's about time you got onto your- 
self, and Judy's a dear. Why, John, she'd make you 
the loveliest wife. 

John. Say, wait a year. 

Martha. Well, she would. She 's forty times the girl 
Jane Johnson is or Jessica Jones for that matter. 

John. I haven 't a doubt of it, Martha. 

Martha {catching hold of him). Then go ring her up 
this minute. {Pushing him to d. l.) Go! (John goes 
and she falls hack against the wall overcome with a suc- 
cess she little suspected) 

ENTER Mabel and Mary d. r., talking earnestly. 

Mary. It's awfully strange. Whatever made you 
think it? 

Mabel {who is never sure of anything). Oh, I don't 
know. It just came over me all at once when she looked 
up. 

Martha {who has begun to recover from her shock). 
What did Mabel do ? What are you talking about ? 

Mary. Mabel declares she has seen our new maid be- 
fore. {They cluster about the window seat) 

Mabel {with importance). More than that. 

Martha. Well what ? 

Mabel. It just came to me where. 

Mary. No ! 

Mabel. Um-um, at school. 

Mary. Don't be ridiculous, Mabel. 

Martha. Wait. The child may be right. 



His Sisters 9 

Mary. But she never is, you know. She's always 
having wild hallucinations about things. 

Mabel. Glory, Mary, where did you get that wild 
word ? 

Martha. Come now, don't begin a squabble. I want 
to know more about this female, I 've been suspicious of 
something all along. 

Mabel (aware of Tier importance, which she rarely 
feels in the presence of her sisters). Well, of course, I 
didn't notice anything about her at first, except that she's 
rather fine looking — how long has she been here, by the 
way? 

Mary. Two weeks. Go on. 

Mabel. But to-day when I went out in the pantry for 
a cookie she was there. I spoke to her and I thought she 
tried to avoid me, but I followed close on her heels. 

Martha. Mabel ! 

Mabel. Well, I wanted to get a look at her. She 
looked so pretty the night she came. 

Mary. Go on with your story. 

Mabel. Say, Mary, you've got an awful grudge on 
that poor creature. What 's the matter ? 

Mary. Oh, she's so stupid and {Not meaning to say 
it) I think John likes her. 
' Martha. John! 

Mabel. John! 

Martha. For heaven 's sake, Mary, what do you mean ? 

Mary. Well, he's noticed her and he thinks her eyes 
are beautiful. 

Martha. Heavens, the little witch. Let's discharge 
her at once. 

Mabel. Of course she's up to some scheme and I think 
it's dreadful to scheme. 

Martha. She couldn't be. 

Mabel. Let me finish my story and you'll see. As I 
said, I followed her out to the kitchen and got around on 
the other side of the table and got a good look at her and 
all of a sudden it came to me that I had seen her before 
and at school. If she's the one I think, she wasn't in my; 



10 His Sisters 

m 

dormitory, but across the campus. I used to see her at 
dances mostly, and she had perfectly wonderful clothes. 

Martha. Oh, Mabel, dear, you must be mistaken. 
"What would a girl like that become a servant for? 

Mary. Of course, Mabel, you're crazy! 

Mabel. Oh, I don't know. At any rate soine day I'll 
put it over you two, and that day may not be far distant 
either! (Turning and looking out the window) Oh, 
there's Jane coming, and doesn't she look sweet! 

[EXIT D. R., running 

Martha {crossly). Is that Jane coming here? 

Mary. I didn't know it. She needn't ask her to din- 
ner anyway. 

Martha. I should hope not, for I 've asked Judith. 

Mary. You haven't! 

Martha. I have. Why not ? 

Mary. Because I've asked Jessica, that's why. 

[EXIT flauntingly d. l. 

Martha (following). For heaven's sake, Mary, you 
aren't mad. (From the next room) I believe you're 
jealous of Judith. 

ENTER Mabel and Jane d. r. 

Mabel (spinning Jane ahout to examine Jier dress). 
Oh, aren^t you too sweet for anything! 

Jane (who has hut one interest, one thought). Where 
is he? 

Mabel. In the library, I guess. I'll call him in a 
minute. Let's have a chat first. (Pulls Jane down he- 
side her on the davenport) 

Jane. I saw him yesterday on Market Street. Do 
you know I think he 's even lovelier without his uniform. 

Mabel (with great patience hecause she has listened to 
all this many times hefore). Yes, I don't know but what 
he is. '(Suddenly) Jane, I'll tell you something if you 
won't tell. 

Jane. Cross my heart. 

Mabel. He's going to ask you to the Charity Ball. 

Jane (surprised). No I 



His Sisters 11 

Mabel. Yes he is. He told me so. Don't look so 
scared. You said you wanted him to. 

Jane. Oh, I do, I do, and I could die of happiness. 

Mabel (contemptuously). Die of happiness! 

Jane. What shall I say when he asks me ? 

Mabel. Goose ! 

Jane. Oh, Mabel, I am the happiest girl in the world. 
What will tfessica Jones say? And Judith Jacobs? 
They'll die of envy. 

Mabel. Well, I don't see but the whole three of you'll 
be dead then, 

Jane. No, no, of course, I wouldn't die. No one ever 
does die of happiness. That's just an expression. 

ENTER John d. l. 

John (who has decided on a role). Good afternoon, 
Miss Jane. 

Jane (with a nervous giggle). Good afternoon. 

Mabel (in a stage whisper to Jane as John turns to 
bring up a chair). I'm going to leave you alone with 
him. 

Jane (at her wit's end) Oh, don't. (Mabel nods) 

Mabel. John, you'll have to entertain Jane a moment. 
The dressmaker wants me. 

John (elegantly). With pleasure. (EXIT Mabel 
D. L., and John goes over to the davenport) May I sit 
here? 

Jane. Oh, do ! (Makes room for him and he sits be- 
side her rather close) 

John (in excellent spirits). I've been wanting to see 
you. 

Jane (feigning surprise). Wanting to see me! 

John. I suppose you haven't given a thought to the 
Charity Ball? 

Jane. Oh, yes, I have — lots of them. 

John. You — have you been invited to attend ? 

Jane (mournfully). No-o. 

John. Ah, then I am fortunate. 



12 His Sisters 

• 

Jane. You mean ? 

John (elegantly). That I would like very much, to 
take you, mademoiselle. Will you accept my offer? 

Jane (with a long -withheld sigh of relief). Oh, ye-es, 
I'd love to. 

John. Then it's an agreement? 

Jane. Oh, yes, and thank you so much. 

John. Not at all. The pleasure is all mine. (Reach- 
ing over and taking hold of the bizarre locket Jane has 
hung about her neck) What's this? 

Jane (whose embarrassment returns). Oh, that's a 
locket mother bought me. 

John. For his picture ? 

Jane. Well — y-yes. 

John. Pardon me. I won't look then. (He is en- 
joying hiynself iynmensely) 

Jane. Yes — you may — in fact, oh, dear, I might as 
well tell you — it 's — a picture of yourself. 

John. Of me ? How interesting ! 

Jane. You see, I got it from Mabel's photo-book one 
day at school and pasted it in here. I hope you don't 
mind. 

John (dropping the locket). Not at all. In fact, 
I 'm delighted. 

Jane. Keally? 

John. Really. 

Jane (as if her cup of happiness were brimming full). 
Oh! 

John. Tell me. How many pictures does Mabel have 
of me at school ? 

Jane (throwing back her head and shutting her eyes, 
better to visualize). Well, there's one on her dresser — a 
big one in a silver frame. There's one on the wall — a 
snapshot enlarged — and another, a smaller one just be- 
low, in profile. And there's a very large one in a gold 
stand-up frame on the mantel. Those are in her bed- 
room. Then in her study 

John (interrupting) . Wait, that's enough. 

Jane (demurely). Your sister's very fond of you. 



His Sisters 13 

John {wit% undue emphasis). She is — ^immensely! 

Jane. You — you couldn't blame her. If you were 
my brother, I should just adore you. 

John. Oh, no, you wouldn't. I'm an awful bear. 

Jane (sweetly). Bear? 

John (gruffly). Um! My sister has kept quiet as to 
that side of my character. 

Jane (in a still sweeter voice). You mean you are 
cross? 

John. Well I should say. You don't know me. 

Jane. Oh, I'm sure you can't be a; bear — Besides, 
some things that bears do are nice. 

John. Never. 

Jane. Oh, yes they are. For instance, they hug peo- 
ple. (Looks at him saucily. John groans, hut is obliged 
to smile. Martha appears at d. r., unseen by them, sees 
them, stares for a second, turns quickly and EXITS 
D. R. ) I 'm sorry if I 've made you angry. 

John. No, no, you haven't. 

Jane. I didn't mean to be impudent — or — or bold. 

Martha (off stage, heard speaking at the telephone). 
Hullo, Judith. Yes, yes, it's Martha. (Much excited) 
Come right over, Judith. No, don't bother to change 
your dress. Come now, (Receiver is heard to go up 
with a bang. John rises and paces the floor) 

Jane (who misinterprets the cause of his impatience)^ 
You are angry with me. {Buries her head in the 
cushion) I'm s-so s-s-s-orry. 

John (alarmed and coming over to her). Hush. 
(Touches her shoulder. At this most inopportune mo- 
ment Mary appears at d. r., stares for a moment, then 
rushes off, all unseen by them) Hush, I'm not angry 
with you. 

J A-^E (raising a teary face). Really? 

John. Really. I — I was thinking of things 

Jane (not permitting him to finish). But you aren't 
very nice to think of things when I'm here. (Head goes 
back in the cushion) 

John. I never will again, never* 



14 His Sisters 

Mary {off stage, heard speaking at the telephone; she 
is much excited). Hullo, Jessica. For mercy sakes, 
when are you coming? Well, hurry up! Whatever 
have you been doing all this while? (John groans, 
clutches his hair in desperation, looks at Jane sohhing in 
cushion, makes an attempt to escape at d. l., hut is met 
hy Martha on the threshold) 

ENTER Martha d. l. 

Martha. Have you rung up Judith? 

John. Just this minute going to. 

Martha. Well be quick about it, sir. {Pointing to 
D. R.) That's the shortest way to the telephone. {He 
starts and Martha goes down to Jane, who has recov- 
ered. 0)1 the threshold of d. r. he humps into Mary) 

ENTER Mary d. r. 

Mary. Have you rung up Jessica ? 

John {ivho sees the other two are not listening). Just 
this minute going to. 

Mary. For mercy sakes hurry up. She may have 
started already. (EXIT John d. r. Mary goes down 
to davenport) Where's Mabel? 

Jane {rising). She went up-stairs. I think I'll go 
up and find her, if you don't mind. 

Martha. Certainly not. Go ahead. (EXIT Jane 
D. L. Mary and Martha follow her with angry eyes) 

Mary. She 's been flirting with John. 

Martha. I know it. She ought to have a good spank- 
ing. Hark! {They listen) 

Mary {not too graciously). Judith must have come 
and she's talking Avith John. Call her in. 

Martha {with spirit). I shan't. Let her talk with 
him. {She rises and goes to d. r.) 

Mary {angrily). Why did you ask Judith over? 

Martha. For the same reason you asked Jessica. I 
wanted her. [EXIT d. r. 

Mary {following her out). You might have waited 
until some other time. [EXIT d. R. 



His Sisters 15 

ENTER Cecile cautiously d. l. She pretends to dust 
hut keeps her eyes on the door as if expecting some 
one. Presently ENTER John d. r. 

John. Why do you run away from me ? 

Cecile. I don't. I have my dusting to do {Dusts 
vigorously) and I must do it. Your sisters are terribly 
particular. 

John. Hang my sisters ! 

Cecile {who knows there is no better remark to hold 
him). You'd better go out. If they find you here with 
me, they'll make a fuss. 

John {sitting on the arm of the davenport). Cecile? 

Cecile. Yes, Mr. Hamilton. 

John {much hurt). Oh, I say, what did you promise 
me? 

Cecile {sweetly). Yes, John. 

John. What are you doing here? 

Cecile {mischievously). Dusting. 

John. No, no, I mean why did you come here? 

Cecile. I saw your advertisement in the paper. 

John. No, no, I mean, why are you working? 

Cecile {facing him) . Now you're impertinent {Shakes 
feather duster in his face) and I don't have to answer 
you. {He catches her hand impetuously) Release me, 
sir. {With feigned anger) 

John. Then answer my question. 

Cecile. I will some day, {He lets go of her hand) 
and oh, won't you be surprised! {Laughs softly and 
goes back to her dusting) 

John. Is it — er hard work here? 

Cecile. Oh, awfully! I don't believe I can stand it. 

John. No ! 

Cecile {facing him). Your sisters are so exacting, 
and — and the cook is cruel. Why, this morning besides 
wiping all those awful breakfast dishes— the percolator is 
frightful 

John {gravely). I suppose so. 

Cecile. And after washing that, she made me peel 
the potatoes, the nasty things ! 



16 His Sisters 

John. Awful! Cruel! Wicked! 

Cecile. And now to-night your sister is giving a 'din- 
ner party, and oh, {Flops into a chair) think of the 
potatoes 1 1 

John. Can't you manage without them? 

Cecile {tragically). No, they are absolutely indis- 
pensable. 

John. By Jove, something ought to be done about it, 
and I'll see that there is! {Voices heard without) 

Cecile {starting up). Oh, they're coming in here. 
{She starts for d. l. and he follows) No, no, you mustn't 
come. 

John. I thought I might help you peel some of those 
potatoes. 

Cecile. Oh, that's sweet of you, but really the cook 
wouldn't allow it. [EXIT d. l. 

John. Hang the cook ! I 'm not afraid of her. 

[EXIT D. L. 

ENTER Judith, Martha and Mary d. r., and a second 
later ENTER Jane and Mabel d. l. 

Mabel. Hullo! I call this a regular party. I've in- 
vited Jane, Mary, because she just loves dinner parties. 
Where 's John ? 

Mary {sitting on the window seat). Oh, I don't know. 
{Knowing she has no right to say it) Perhaps he went 
down to meet Jessica. (Judith and Martha sit in chairs 
and Jane and Mabel on the davenport) 

Judith {quickly). He couldn't have, for 

Mary (firmly). I think he did. 

Jane {saucily). Well, he didn't, because I just saw 
him going out in the kitchen. 

Mary {loftily). Are you sure it was he? 

Mabel (loyally). I guess Jane knows, don't you, 
Janey dear ? 

Jane (with a giggle). I guess I ought to know him. 
I 've been with him most of the afternoon. 

Mabel. And you're likely to be with him a whole lot 
more, aren't you, Janey dear? 



His Sisters 17 

Janii (liglitly). Um-um. {The rest glower at her) 

Mary {ivho has walked over to the window). Here 
comes Jessica. It's about time. I'll go to meet her. 

[EXIT D. R. 

Judith (to Martha). I don't see how Mary can be so 
fond of that Jessica Jones. Mary's such a wonderful 
girl. 

Martha. Neither do I. There's not a thing attractive 
about her but her looks. 

Judith. Her looks! Why, Martha, dear, I think 
she 's the plainest thing. That pug nose is atrocious. 

Jane. And her hair 's a mess. If I had it I 'd cut it 
off. 

ENTER Jessica and Mary d. r. 

Jessica. Oh my, what a surprise. {To Mary) I 
thought I was to be the lone guest. Isn't this delightful? 

Jane. Hulloa, Jess. You didn't meet John, did you? 

Mabel {pinching her). S-sh! 

Jessica. John? No. Why? 

Jane. Oh, nothing. 

Mabel. Sit over here with us, Jessica. (Jessica 
goes to davenport) Your belt's unhooked. {She 
catches it) 

Jessica. I don't wonder; I was hustling to get ready 
when John rang up. (Mary smiles to herself well aware 
of the news that will electrify the rest) 

Martha. John ? 

Mabel. My brother John ? 

Jessica {as if it were the most usual thing in the 
world), Um-um, he rang up about the dance. {All are 
attentive) 

Judith. The dance? 

Jessica. Well, I might as well tell you. He invited 
me to the Charity Ball. 

Mabel. He did! Well of all 

Judith. He couldn't have, Jessica dear. You prob- 
ably misunderstood him on the 'phone. 

Jessica. What do you mean, Judith Jacobs? 



18 His Sisters 

Judith (sweetly). Just what I said. He coiil3n*t 
have asked you, you know, for lie invited me, just now, 
in the hall. 

Jane. Why, Judy, you're all off. 

Jessica (quickly). Of course she is. 

Jane (rising and facing the assembly and speaking 
with eloquence) . No, no, I mean you're all all off, for he 
invited me, sitting on this davenport, this very afternoon. 
(A71 awful silence during which Jane faces them de- 
fiantly) 

ENTER Hannah d. l., goes up to Mary and hands her 

a letter. 

Hannah. Excuse me, Miss Mary, but Mr. John said 
as how you was to receive this, and as the new maid is 
nowheres about, I was afther fetching it to ye meself. 

Mary (taking letter) . Thank you, Hannah. (EXIT 
Hannah d. l.) Excuse me a minute, girls. (Reads the 
note, reads it again, and finally throws it from her, runs 
to Jessica and weeps on her shoulder) 

Martha (hastening to pick up the letter). What is it, 
Mary? What is the matter ? (Picks the letter up, reads 
it, and is just starting to read it again when Mabel 
starts up) 

Mabel (hysterically) . For mercy sakes, Martha, read 
it aloud. 

Martha (running to Judith and burying her head on 
Judith's shoulder). I can't. You, Mabel. 

Mabel (picking up letter and reading from it). "My 
dear sisters — Just a note to say it breaks my heart to dis- 
please any of you, but, aware that I cannot please all of 
you, I choose to please none of you. I am going to marry 
the new maid, who knew of me through Mabel at school, 
so you see after all it was through my sisters I got a wife. 
Your affectionate brother, John.'' (Silence. After a 
moment Mabel points a finger at Mary and Martha) 
Didn't I say I'd put it over you two some day? 

CURTAIN 



FAUCES 



▲ DOGTOE, BY COURTESY; OR, A JOLLY MIX VT 

Farce in Three Acts. Six Males^ Five Females 
By Ullib Akebstrom 
^Rwo iatdrier scenes. Costumes modern. Sly's father-in-law adopts 
A^3ieds to foroe Sty into practice, with disaster to Sly throughtmt. 
^'8 wife Is led by Florette to test Sly's fidelity by calling him in 
professionally. Sly allows Freddie to personate him, leading to com- 
plications In which every one gets mixed up. Flirtations of Sly before 
marriaee also add to his perplexities, all of which are finally un- 
ravellea. The " situations which follow each other in rapid guc- 
cession make this farce irresistibly comic. Plays two hours. 
PRICE 25 CENTS 

A PUZZLED DETECTIVE 

Farce in Three Acts. Five Males, Three Females 
By L. E. W. Snow 
Three Itaterlor scenes. A letter inclosing money, abstracted by a 
darkey who cannot read, causes Ned Walton, the detective, to get his 
client's affairs all muddled up, resulting In absurd situations, es- 
pecially when the darkey is supposed to be Walton in disguise. A 
needy doctor finds his daughter, a brother discovers his sister, and 
two girl chums become sisters-in-law to their great satisfaction, and 
the muddle is cleared up. Plays one hour. 

PRICE 15 CENTS 

' THE HOOSIEB SCHOOL 

Farce in One Act. Five Males, Five Females 

By Wm. and Josephine Giles 

One Interior scene. A realistic picture of a district school In a 

small Western village. The rough and ready teacher and his tricky 

scholars keep the audience in a roar. The teacher is finally squelched 

by the irate mother of one of his pupils. The piece is cleverly worked 

out and full of funny incidents. Plays thirty minutes. 

PRICE 15 CENTS 

MRS. FORRESTER'S CRUSADE 

Farce in One Act. One Male^ Two Females 
By C. Leona Daley mple 
One Interior scene. Helen has written to Professor Butler, inviting 
him to call to obtain her parents' consent to their engagement. Mrs. 
Forrester, her mother, also writes inviting him, and requests his co- 
operation In her endeavor to cure Helen of her habit of using slang 
expressions. This letter was mislaid and not sent. He calls, and 
during the interview Mrs. Forrester crowds into her conversation alt 
the atrocities of slang possible, to Helen's consternation and Butler's 
disgust. Finally, the missing letter accidentally turns up. Mrs. 
Forrester's attempts at slang are screamingly funny. Plays thirty 
minutes. 

PRICE 15 CENTS 

A LEGAL PUZZLE 

Faroe Comedy in Three Acts. Seven Males, Five Females 
By W. a. Tebmaynb 
Three Interior scenes. Costumes modern. This play can be highly 
recommended, the scenes are easy, the dialogue brisk and snappy, 
tn<i the action rapid. The parts are all good, being evenly divldecli 
tt% principals appearing in each act. Plays two and a half hours. 
FRICQ 25 Cfil^Tft 



RURAL PLAYS 

HELD FOR POSTAGE 

A rural farce comedy in 2 acts, by Eobert Henry Diehl. 4 male, 3 female 
characters. 1 interior scene, very simple. Time, li liours. Uncle Oliver, 
leading old man, and his wife are of the " Old Homestead " type of Yankee 
farmers. Jerusha the town gossip, the town constable and the selectman, 
contribute the many humorous episodes. The juvenile leads, male and 
female, are both very effective. 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

ROSEBROOK FARM 

A rural comedy in 3 acts, by Arolyn Caverly Cutting. 6 male, 9 female 
characters. 1 interior and 1 exterior scene. Time, ]| hours. Costumes of 
to-day. Old man, Yankee farmer and three good character parts for the 
men. A negro maid, some spinsters and an excellent soubrette part for 
the ladies. Easily staged. A very superior play for amateurs. 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

THE WAYFARERS " 

A rural play in 4 acts, by Katharine Kavanaugh. 6 male, 4 female char- 
acters. 2 interior, 1 exterior scene, all simple. Time, 2? hours. Many years 
before the play opens. Uncle Billy disowns a beloved aaughter, she having 
married against his wishes. Later on he repents of his harshness and 
makes vain efforts to locate her and her child. How the child eventually 
returns to her mother's house and what she previously encountered is 
graphically told by Clytie and Watson. Every rftle is a good one. 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

WHERE THE LANE TURNED 

A rural comedy drama in 4 acts, by Florence A. Cowles. 7 male, 5 female 
characters. 2 easy interior scenes. Time, 2 hours. This rural play follows 
entirely novel lines in plot and construction, and as the stage settings are 
both simple, can be produced in any hall. Among the characters are a pert 
French maid, a blasg Englishman, an up-to-date chauffeur, and an uncom* 
monly excellent juvenile lead. 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

WHEN A MAN'S SINGLE 

A rural society comedy in 3 acts, by Eleanor Maud Crane. 4 male, 4 female 
characters. 2 interior, 1 exterior scene. Time, 3 hours. Modern costumes. 
Mrs. Briscoe, a rich New Yog'ker, with her two sons and daughter visit Jim 
Horton's farm. His niece, Eleanor, is an heiress. Paul Briscoe, ruinously 
in debt, resolves to win Eleanor and her money; he mistakes the Irish 
maid, Norah, for her mistress, but soon learns his error. Eleanor visits the 
Briscoes at Newport. Paul by strategy wins her consent. Mrs. Briscoe 
hears of Jim's sudden wealth and forces herself on him. Later, Jim's 
wealth proves to be not his, but Peter Adams's, his country neighbor. 
Things become badly mixed, but by the artless blunders of Norah are finally 
and satisfactorily settled. 

PRICE 25 CENTS 



FROM PUNKIN RIDGE 

A domestic drama in 1 act, by H. Elliot McBride. 6 male, 3 female char. 
acters. 1 interior, 1 exterior scene. Time, 1 hour. Introduces a vainold 
lady, an adventurer, an Irishman and a Yankee, with their dialects. 

PRICE 15 CENTS 





> PLAYS WE RECOMMEND J 


l[ Fifteen Cents Each (Postage, 


1 Cent 


Extra) 


jl 


1 1 Unless 


otherwise Mentioned 




|< 


i" 




Acts Males Females Time 5 


t\ Arabian Nights 


Farce 


3 4 


6 


2y4h 1 


■ , Bundle of Matches (27c.) 


Comedy 


2 1 


7 


iy2h ■ 


C Crawford's Claim (27c.) 


Drama 


3 9 


8 


2yih S 


» 1 Her Ladyship's Niece (27c.) 


Comedy 


4 4 


4 


■, Just for Fun (27c.) 


" 


3 2 


4 


2h ,» 


' 1 Men, Maids, Matchmakers 


;; (27c.) 


3 4 


4 


2h i" 


'i Our Boys 




3 6 


4 


2h i» 


'■ Puzzled Detective 


Farce 


3 5 


3 


Ih 1 


[ 1 Three Hats 


" 


3 5 


4 


2h ? 


J 1 Timothy Delano's 








g' 


■ 1 Courtship 


Comedy 


2 2 


3 


ih ■! 


\ t Up-to-Date Anne 


" 


2 2 


8 


ih i; 


[■ White Shawl (27c.) 


Farce 


2 3 


3 




,■ Fleeing Flyer 


" 


1 4 


3 


l§h "] 


, ■ From Punkin' Ridge 


Drama 


1 6 


8 


i" Handy Solomon 


Farce 


1 2 


2 


20m ', 


,■ Hoosier School 


" 


1 5 


5 


30m 'i 


, ■ Kiss in the Dark 


" 


1 2 


3 


45m 'i 


1 ■ Larry 


" 


1 4 


4 


45m [i 


, ' Love Birds' Matrimonial 










B ' Agency 


" 


1 3 


4 


80m "i 


i' Married Lovers 


Comedy 


1 2 


4 


45m 'i 


i' Ma's New Boarders (27c.) 


Farce 


1 4 


4 


80m : 1 


1 ' Mrs. Forester's Crusade 


" 


1 1 


2 


80m |i 


■ ' New Pastor 


Sketch 


1 2 


2 


30m ,1 


B ' Relations 


Farce 


1 3 


1 


20m ;i 


1 Standing Room Only 


Comedy 


1 3 


1 


35m ,1 


ij Stormy Night 


" 


1 3 


1 


40m Ii 


C Surprises (27c ) 


Farce 


1 2 


8 


80m ,■ 


iC Tangles (27c.) 


" 


1 4 


2 


80m ,' 


■ , Little Rogue Next Door 


" 


1 2 


3 


40m ,' 


B, 'Till Three P. M. 


" 


1 2 


1 


20m i' 


■ , Train to Mauro 


" 


1 2 


1 


15m ,' 


■ , When Women Rule 


" 


1 2 


4 


15m 1 


■, Won by a Kodak 


Comedy 


1 2 


3 


50m 1 ] 


" 1 April Fools 


Farce 


1 3 





30m 1 


■ 1 Fun in a Schoolroom 


" 


1 4 





40m 1 


■, Little Red Mare 


" 


1 3 





35m ■ 


' 1 Manager's Trials 


" 


1 9 





45m 1 


■, Medica 


" 


1 7 





85m I 


] 1 Mischievous Bob 


Comedy 


1 6 





40m I 


■ ■ Cheerful Companion 


Dialogue 


1 


2 


25m ■ 


% Dolly's Double 


" 


1 1 


1 


20m ■, 


Ji Drifted Apart 


" 


1 1 


1 


80m ■, 


5i Gentle Touch 


«* 


1 1 


1 


30m ■, 


„J John's Emmy 


" 


1 1 


1 


20m ■, 


Ji Point of View 


" 


1 1 


1 


20m 'i 


J Professor's Trua::t Glove 


«« 


1 1 


1 


20m *^ 


> Belles of BlackvilJe 


Minstrel 


1 


any no. 


2h |i 


f* Sweet Family (27c.) 


Entertainment 


1 


8 


Ih \i 


m^ Conspirators (27c.) 


Comedy 


2 


12 


40m 'i 


1 ■ A Day and a Night ( 27c. ) 


" 


2 


10 


lb 5 


t' Gertrude Mason, M.D. (27c.) 


Farce 


1 


7 


80m |i 


i' In Other People's Shoes 


Comedy 


1 


8 


50m ,1 


bJ Maidens All Forlorn (27c.) 


" 


3 


6 


ly^h Ji 


■ Mary Ann 


" 


1 


5 


80m !■ 


■ Romance of Phyllis (27c.) 


" 


3 


4 


i^h ;■ 


ij Fuss vs. Feathers 


Mock Trial 


1 4 


4 


80m ■■ 


■ , Tanglefoot vs. Peruna 


" '.' 


1 7 


18 


iy2h ,« 


■ , Grent Libel Case 


« 


1 21 





2h ;■ 


rfVyVtfVJSAAftAAAAftAftArtAftJVUVVWVWV 


i/WJW 


wuvv 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




PLAYS WE RECOMMEND 

For Schools and Colleges 

Twenty-five cents (Postage 2 cents extra) 

Acts Males Females Time 

Irish Eden 

Kidnapped Freshman 

Matrimonial TiCF 

Little Savage 

Lodgers Taken In 

Miss Mosher of Colorado 

Miss Neptune 

My Uncle from India 

Never Again 

New England Folks 

Next Door 

Oak Farm 

Riddles 

Rosebrook Farm 

Stubborn Motor Car 

Too Many Husbands 

When a Man's Single 

Where the Lane Turned 

After the Honeymoon 

Biscuits and Bills 

Chance at Midnight 

Conquest of Helen 

The Coward 

Sheriff of Tuckahoe 

Bashful Mr. Bobbs 

Whose Widow 

Alice's Blighted Profes- 
sion 

Regular Girls 

100% American 

Parlor Patriots 

Fads and Fancies 

Mr. Loring's Aunts 

My Son Arthur 

Sewing Circle Meets 

Every Senior 

Bride and Groom 

Last Chance 

Bubbles 

Hurricane Wooing 

Peggy's Predicament 

Found in a Closet 

Slacker (?) for the Cause 

Baby Scott 

Billy's Bungalow 

College Chums 

Delegates from Denver 

Football Romance 

Held for Postage 

In the Absence of Susan 

Transaction in Stocks 

Aunt Dinah's Quilting 
Party 

Bachelor Maids' Reunion 

In the Ferry House 

Rustic Minstrel Show 

Ye Village Skewl of Long 
Ago 

Rainbow Kimona 

Rosemary 

Pharaoh's Knob 



Comedy 


3 


8 


6 


2h 


Farce 


3 


12 


4 


2y4h 


Farce 


1 


2 


1 


Ih 


Comedy 


3 


4 


4 


2h 


«• 


3 


6 


4 


2y2h 


«« 


4 


5 


3 


2h 


" 


2 


3 


8 


li/ih 


" 


4 


13 


4 


2yoh 


Farce 


3 


7 


5 


2h 


Drama 


3 


8 


4 


2Vih 


Comedy 


3 


5 


4 


2h 


Comedy 


8 


7 


4 


2y2h 


" 


3 


3 


3 


iy4h 


«• 


3 


6 


9 


l%h 


" 


3 


7 


4 


SVah 


Farce 


2 


8 


4 


2h 


Comedy 


3 


4 


4 


2h 


" 


4 


7 


5 


2h 


Farce 


1 


2 


3 


50m 


Comedy 


1 


3 


1 


l\4h 


Drama 


1 


2 


1 


2 5m 


Comedy 


1 


3 


2 


Ih 


Drama 


1 


5 


? 


30m 


Western Sk. 


1 


3 


1 


Ih 


Comedy 


3 


4 


7 


2y2h 


" 


1 


5 


4 


50m 


Sketch 


1 





8 


50m 


Entertainment 


1 





any no. 


Ih 


Comedy 


1 





15 


iy2h 


" 


1 





12 


Ih 


Sketch 


1 





17 


Ih 


Comedy 


3 





13 


IVih 


" 


1 


2 


8 


%h 


Entertainment 


1 





10 


ly^h 


Morality play 


1 





8 


40m 


Farce 


3 


5 


5 


2y4h 


Comedy 


2 


2 


12 


P/ah 
lyoh 


" 


3 


4 


3 


" 


3 


4 


3 


IMjh 


•f 


1 





5 


y2h 


'* 


1 


1 


3 


20m 


Sketch 


1 


3 


1 


20m 


Farce 


3 


5 


4 


2y4h 


Comedy 


3 


5 


4 


2h 


" 


3 


9 


3 


2h 


Farce 


2 


3 


10 


%h 


Comedy 


4 


9 


4 


2%h 


Farce 


2 


4 


3 


iy4h 


" 


3 


4 


6 


iy2h 


Comedy 


1 


4 


1 


45m 


Entertainment 


1 


5 


11 


2h 


" 


1 


2 


any no. 


lyoh 


" 


1 


15 


11 


iy2h 


« 


1 


any no 


any no 


iy2h 


<• 


2 


any no 


any no. 


2h 


•• 


2 





9 


lyoh 


Comedy 


4 





14 


l%h 


" 


1 


1 


12 


Ih 



